So......it's been a week....

I suck at journaling every day.....I really do. Every time I think of it, I can't help but think of Paul Rudd's character in Wet Hot American Summer calling is journal a "gurnal." It just makes me laugh.... that movie is soooooooooooooooo bad.....

Speaking of movies, I wanted to go see on on Friday night. I wanted to seeBlindside, but it was only showing in Metairie, and I didn't feel like driving that long....so we went and bought a couple movies, three to be exact. Let me just say I'm completely ADDICTED to The Proposal. Cheesy, yes I know, but Ryan Reynolds is so adorable....and it IS actually laugh out loud funny! I'm watching it, again.....it's only like the 5th time this weekend......Mama Cass!

So, my week was pretty uneventful, work wise. I need to pay the bills tonight, since the house note is due tomorrow. I hate bill paying, especially house note time.... Oh well, I love my house. Know what I hate about my house right now though.... Mice. Fucking mice. I found, well, smelled one dead the other day. I smelled it one day, took the trash out, because I thought it was the trash, lit a candle and forgot about it for that day. The next morning, I KNEW I had a dead rodent in my house. I found it later that evening, when I got home from work. Fucking rodents. Mice are one of the few things that can make me gag. Totally gag me. They are so freaking gross.

This weekend was uneventful, except for the fact that I can't sleep. I drank a Rockstar on Friday, so that might have been some of problem, but I have NEVER been wired like that. I went to bed around 4AM Saturday, slept til 11, then took a long nap around 3-ish. Couldn't sleep last night either. Finally fell asleep around 2AM this morning. It's really bad when hubs works nights. I really still hate his nights schedule. I was fine with him working nights before my miscarriage.....I seem to have lost some of my confidence.

Speaking of miscarriages.....I found out about mine on August 27, 2009, my fifth wedding anniversary. I just found out that one of my friends has suffered three, one late in pregnancy. It sucks that no one really talks about them. As common as they are, no one talks about them. It's still a taboo subject. It sucks, because those of us who have had miscarriages are really in the dark. You only find out about other people having miscarriages AFTER you have yours. I'm not saying they should be publicly announced, but they should at least be talked about. Maybe people like me won't feel like such a failure when it happens...... What *really* sucks about it is that our therapist keeps pressuring me to find out WHY. I don't want to KNOW why, yet. I'm still getting over the fact that it happened. I don't NEED to know why. I just know that so far, my body has failed at the one thing it's made to do.

On that topic, I started spotting today....on cycle day 27. TWENTY-SEVEN..... Not even on birth control could I have a cycle that short!!! I mean 27 days is a LOT better than like 50 of 60, but still..... Why the fuck now???? WHY? I'm sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo aggravated with my freaking body right now. It doesn't do what it's supposed to. I'd like to just have it work normal. Ovulate on day 14, start or get a positive pregnancy test on day 28, and have the cycle last like 4 days, tops. NOT 7 or 9. For crying out loud, most things die after bleeding for a day. I'd like to have my period disappear indefinitely.... So, enough about that.

In makeup news, I'm going to try Avon's magic X or whatever it's called......I'll post more on that later. I'm wearing it now, and it's alright, but I really haven't done anything to test it. I'll be going to the gym tomorrow after work and after my ultrasound. Speaking of ultrasounds, a thyroid ultrasound has to be the most uncomfortable thing ever. I'm glad I only have to have it done yearly. I just hope I don't get another student this year. Last year, my ultrasound lasted like 30 minutes. Then I agreed to let the student practice on me. I mean, I know what it's like to be a student. That took an additional 45 minutes, but I did get to ask her questions and really look at it. Yes, that made it more uncomfortable, but still. Wanna know what it feels like? Lay back, and have someone press on your throat.....then move all around that area....make sure they do it firmly. Not only does it hinder breathing, if you're like me, it makes you gag. Not fun. Like I said, once a year......

Oh, I did forget to mention my score of the week. I went to Houma this week for some minor retail therapy. I was feeling down, so I did a little shopping. I got some hand soaps from Bath and Body Works. 7 for $21, not too shabby. Did I also mention that I had a 20% off coupon as well? Awesome! Then I went to Academy for some Saints t-shirts. WHO DAT!!!! Anyway, I needed a new pair of tennis shoes for the gym as well. I scored on my shoes. The regular price was like $109. I got them for $49. ULTIMATE SCORE!!! They're pink. Not too excited with the pink, but at least it's a darker bright pink. I can get away with calling it fuchsia. Did I mention that I'm breaking them in right now while wearing fuzzy fuchsia socks. Yes, I am drop dead sexy right now in my nightgown, fuzzy fuchsia socks, and brand new fuchsia Nike tennis shoes.....all kinds of sexy. Hopefully they don't kill my feet tomorrow night.

Alrighty. It's time for a shower and hopefully bed. I'll probably sleep on the sofa tonight, since hubs is working. I seem to sleep better in the living room because I can leave the TV on. It makes me feel less alone. I'll probably put The Proposal on again......talk with me later.

The Ground Rules......

Just a fair warning....this blog will most likely be slightly depressing, but sometimes funny.......

There's lots of stuff in my life that I need to get out, in order to maybe feel "normal."

This will be written by me, not the façade that I usually put up.....

I will bitch, whine, complain, cuss, whatever....I won't hold back. Don't like it, don't read it.....

There will be days when I post like crazy, and other times I may not post for a couple days.....

This will be my therapy.....and I hope it works, because "real" therapy right now, is making me a little bit sad.......

You can make comments/suggestions/whatever.....I'll read them (I promise), but I may not act upon them......

Alright, now that the ground rules are set....I think I'll start.....or maybe after Goal Post supper..... mmmmmmmmmm....hamburger steak...... *drool*

And WTH.....no Helvetica font????? LOL (If you've watched Will & Grace, that was funny!)